Today I weighed the same,
That God-awful scale reads 100,
Every single day; 100.
Today was a terrible day with my ED,
I ate my cereal with 1/3 cup milk,
Then I went to the gym.
I did that one Stride machine,
It's a mix between a stair stepper,
And an elliptical.
I fell in love with that machine,
As long as I read my book,
The time and calories burned just went up.
I burned 255cal in 30min,
I felt wonderful afterwards.
But then my best friend and I,
Went out for lunch.
I had a 6 inch sandwich,
And two fucking cookies.
I purged it all,
And then took 5 laxies.
Then for dinner I had half a salad,
And a chicken sandwich on a bun,
And purged that all.
And took 4 more laxies.
But in other news,
I went and got another ED tattoo.
One of the few places where I'm not tatted,
My lower back.
Yes I went and got a "tramp" stamp,
This tattoo makes 16.
They are so addicting.
Don't mind the nasty stretch marks,
But if you look closely,
The NEDA symbol is on both sides of the ribbon,
And purple ribbon obviously for ED's.
God, the more I look at this picture,
The more disgusted I am with my body.
I can't stand my love handles,
They look awful.
Well I'm about to go have my nightly ice cream,
And I am going to try my hardest not to purge it.
The laxies need some food to work with.
I hope this post finds you all well,
Lots of love,
XOXO Katie
I used to do a lot of reading during exercise too, either on the elliptical or step aerobics. I really should get back to it - it passes the time so much quicker than just listening to music, and I really don't read enough anymore.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're struggling so much with the purging. It really doesn't sound like you've eaten a lot. I know it's hard to break the habit of weighing yourself first thing every morning, but I wonder if it'd help give you some perspective about your weight in the 'bigger picture' without monitoring every daily fluctuation.
I love your tattoo. I've been wanting a few for years, though I haven't gotten there yet for various reasons, but I have 18 piercings currently so I definitely understand the addictiveness of body modification. I hope you managed to keep your ice cream down. Thinking of you dear. Much love <3 xx
If I were to do some form of exercise on a machine that's not lifting related I would have to have my phone. I seriously hate it so much. Even reading doesn't fully help though because cardio bored me to tears. I'm a bro in the weight room all the way. :) Yay for new tattoos! I think it's awesome and even more awesome because it's symbolic to you. I have five. I always wanted more but the older I get and the deeper I get into my studies the more I think I should wait until I have a professional job to decide if I want more. I have lots of piercings though and I'll probably have to evaluate keeping those too since I have two in my nose then six dermals on my chest. Lots of love sweets. Keep hangin in there!
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