It's a secret I've been forced to live,
I feel like I've got nothing left to give.
A word that people shy away from,
Incest; it's only happened to some.
I hurt inside everyday quietly,
It feels like I'm dying silently.
My body's been used my whole life,
It's the reason why I hold this knife.
The images of my past always haunt me,
I wish I could lock them away and lose the key.
I'm drowning in my own self hate,
It seems this was written as my fate.
I've tried so hard to forget my past,
I wonder if my next breath will be my last.
I'm hurting so bad,
I always seem to be so sad.
Tears fall silently down my face,
Dear Lord, get me out of this place.
I scream but no one seems to hear,
I seem to be crippled by my fear.
He took something that didn't belong to him,
I pray that he'll pay for his sin.
I was only a child, so innocent and young,
I quietly cried and always bit my tongue.
My innocence and childhood ripped away,
I live with the pain every single day.
I don't ever see forgiveness in my heart,
Instead, I'm slowly falling apart.
I need someone who understands,
That will help me take a stand.
It seems like I will forever suffer,
All at the hands of my brother.
It's an ugly occurrence in life, sexual abuse. It takes power from you, atrophies emotions, and leaves you with a lot of confused and guilty feelings. sometimes there are feelings you don't even know what to label. The healing process has to begin inside you. you have to want to take that step and acknowledge that you are no longer bound to your past and that you're in longer a victim. It was always difficult realizing that I was keeping myself there. It's hard to move forward and feel empowered but there IS life. I promise. There IS healing. I'm proof. It aches and it's ugly but the beauty is the you that is refined.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you. lots of love.
I'm so sorry this happened to you sweetheart. But I know you can move past this and live the life you want. You can't change what happened to you, as much as it hurts, but you can choose what happens now. Please look after yourself hun, thinking of you <3
ReplyDeleteAlice xx
Hugs Katie <3, it's going to be fine one day. It's funny how it works so that you have to first feel it, all of it that you numbed away, and then slowly it will get better.
ReplyDeleteLove you lots!
Wow, Katie. Wow.
ReplyDeleteThis is very well written, and my heart goes out to you. I can relate a little bit, from my past. I am always here to talk to and to offer any sort of help I can. We will get through this - together.
My heart broke reading this. I wish I could help you by taking it all away. All my love is going out to you <3 xxx
ReplyDeleteOh Katie, this is so beautiful and heartfelt. Hugs... ♡♡♡
ReplyDeleteDamn, I'm sorry to hear that, but as backward as it sounds talking about it is the best thing.
ReplyDelete