This is so much harder than it looks to the outside world. Yesterday I managed to eat all 3 meals without purging any of it. And even had a small piece of cake last night after dinner. I'm pretty sure my total intake was about 1,100 calories or so, but I did eat all the meals I was supposed to. But this is so hard. Everyone keeps telling me how proud they are of me. But last night as I was getting undressed to get in the shower, I saw my body. I feel and look so fat. So I voiced that and T got upset with me. He said to me that nobody hates themselves, and I told him that I have always hated myself. And like I've heard many times, I focus too much on the negative stuff throughout my day instead of focusing on all the good that I do. That I can't be proud of eating 3 meals a day, but instead be mad at myself for letting myself getting fat. I have decided that if I am going to eat all 3 meals in my day, then I am going to start working on my thunder thighs and my abs so I can at least look "tight" this coming summer. I spent the last two days down in Denver with my mom. She isn't feeling well and I have been trying my hardest in taking care of her. Yesterday while she was in the hospital, her doctor said to me that I don't look well and that she would check me into the ER too and be my doctor. I turned her down. My main focus was my mom, not me. That's always my issue. Everyone else comes before me. I'm okay with that. Last weigh in at the doctor was 91lbs. I'm pretty sure I've gone up at least 2lbs since then. Sigh, this is going to be hard to get used to. I hope everyone is doing well. Much love.
XOXO Katie
3 meals is a great start. Just keep that up. I know it's hard but keep trying.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard Katie
ReplyDeleteIt will probably be the hardest thing you will ever fo but it will be so worth it
Well done on eating 3 meals
That's progress
That's all we can do
Baby steps and those baby steps will turn in to huge leaps
Stay with it Katie, all your hard work will pay off
Stay strong
Keep the faith
Keep fighting the good fight
Love you x
That's a great start. It's hard, but that right there means that you are getting stronger. Don't give up. Keep trying. It gets easier.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your mom. I hope she get's well again, whatever she's sick with.
You're amazing. Look at where you were and where you are now. It's amazing how far you have come, and where you will go. Much love. Stay strong.
Take care. Xx
You have done SO well, I am so proud of you :D You are getting stronger every day! Thank you for your comment yesterday on my blog, I was so down and I love getting comments. Thank you xx
ReplyDeleteI completely understand, hopefully one day you will see all the hard work you have done. Not through a mirror.
ReplyDeleteKatie you have a wonderful heart, don't neglect in taking care for yourself -you deserve it.
Love you darling, wishing you and your mother wellness xx
Don't you just hate it when people get upset at you for feeling bad about yourself? It's like, Thanks, I feel so much better now. Ugh!
ReplyDeleteI think you can accomplish anything you decide is worth striving for. I've heard from a lot of people recovering that it does get easier. It won't be this hard forever if you just keep working at it. You're doing brilliantly, just keep your pretty little chin up.