Treatment...?

It's been a roller coaster of emotions these past few days. In a couple hours I have my OB appointment and we are going to get a better look at what it is that is hurting me so badly seeing as the antibiotics didn't work. I'm thinking another surgery is in my near future. Yesterday was a battle with Ana. I only consumed 395 calories. I restricted like crazy. As I was writing the poem that you can find below, something came over me and I went to the EDC website and took a look around. And then the unthinkable happened. I actually called them, had to leave them a message. Within an hour, she called me back. She asked why now. So I told her a bit of my history and my current state of health. She wanted to meet with me as soon as possible. So she emailed me an 8 page packet to fill out. I meet with her in Denver at 3pm today. She is going to do my assessment, talk about my insurance coverage, and give me a tour of the place. I'm extremely nervous. Ana is pretty pissed at me right now. So much so that I only had 50 calories for breakfast. I feel the urge to skip lunch seeing as I got a long day ahead of me. I am going to see my favorite teacher from high school and visit with him for a bit before I head to Denver. I wish I didn't have to go to this assessment by myself. I wish my mom could go with me. But she also has a busy day watching my nephews. I mean, it's not like I'm committing to go, but I'm taking the first step and at least getting a good look at the place I might spend the next month at. They asked so many questions on those assessment papers. And I can't lie. I have to be honest with them or they can't help me. If you haven't read the poem I wrote yesterday, you should check it out. It's kind of a big deal for me because I haven't been able to write in so long. And yesterday the words just flowed right out. I miss writing. I think I want to do it more often. Well I have to head off for my busy day. Much love. Stay strong.
XOXO Katie