Bad day yesterday

I didn't gain. I suppose this is bad. I purged twice yesterday. I don't know what got into me. It frustrates me that I even gave into those urges and I'm disappointed in myself. I managed over 500cal yesterday. But I guess none of that matters because I'm a weak human being that I can't even manage to keep the food down that I eat. I took a 3 hour a nap yesterday. My body is barely going. But I'm pushing it the the max. I have been cleaning all the walls, dusting, and vacuuming all the webs out of the corners. I did eat a cereal bar this morning. I'm pretty sure I've burnt that off already though. I'm supposed to go see my doctor today, but I'm going to reschedule until I gain some weight. Otherwise I will just hear the same things I heard last time. "Less than a year, Katie, and I will be signing your death certificate." I honestly don't want to hear it. Maybe there is a tiny bit of resistance to recovery because it's been such a big part of my life. EDC still sounds like an option, if I can get my insurance to cover even just a couple weeks of it. That's two more weeks than I would normally get. I have new friends who have been encouraging me that I am beautiful and that I need to live for my boys. I missed church yesterday. I think it would have been good for me to go. My oldest starts Kindergarten tomorrow. He is so beyond excited, but I'm sad. Which is normal. My morning has been frustrating because my damn puppy chewed up my glasses. Climbed up on my desk and ate them. I only found bits and pieces of them. Needless to say, I locked his ass out. Good thing my script is still good til October. So I will go to Walmart today and see how much it would take for new frames and lenses. My mom is coming up today. Every time she comes up or I go down there, we always go out to lunch. It's kinda inevitable. I wish I could just skip that part. I could do lunch here, and that way I would have control over what I eat. 120cal so far today. I didn't even drink my coffee which isn't normal for me. I guess we will see how this day goes. Much love.
XOXO Katie