Quick Post-Update later

Eyes as blue as the ocean, And hair as long as can be.

But deep inside I keep a secret, That others are not aloud to see.

The girl that lives inside me, Ana is her name.

She loves to have the control, And plays her favorite game.

She keeps me from living, Smiling, laughing, and enjoying life.

Choosing what I do or do not eat, Causing me so much strife.

I don't know how to live without her, She has always stuck by my side.

But if I don't send her packing, Soon, I'm going to die.

The vicious words she spews at me, The nasty names I get called.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I am completely appalled.

I've lived with Ana for 12 years now, She makes me strive for "perfection."

But at the end of each and everyday, I still find myself hating my reflection.

She pushed me to my "goal weight," But 100 wasn't good enough.

She made me starve, made me purge, Broke down my barrier that used to be tough.

As easy as it sounds, I can't just push her away.

I always say at night, Tomorrow will be a better day.

But living with this demon, Has put me knocking on death's door.

Every meal that sits in front of me, Seems like a dreaded chore.

I'm so close to the end of my life, But it seems that I have to keep fighting.

The door to the other side, Seems so uninviting.

I will push through this somehow, Send Ana away for good.

I think what started out as a friendship, Quickly became misunderstood.

Less than a year to turn my life around, For my family, friends, and boys.

Before she takes the rest of me, And everything else she's already destroyed.

Today those deadly numbers, told me a tiny eighty-eight,

I need to clear my mind, get my head on straight.

It's not going to be overnight, in fact maybe years,

But I know at the end of this, there will be no tears.

My eyes will shine and smile, and I will be happy in my heart,

I will no longer be a puppet that's about to fall apart.