My weight is back down to 91 as of this morning. I was just happy to see a change. I'm pretty sure I had a wicked stomach flu yesterday. I was nauseous all day and couldn't keep anything down even if I wanted to. I was miserable. Bent over the toilet dry heaving and bawling my eyes out. I don't ever want to be that sick again. But it did finally make the scale budge.
Halloween was alright. T and I spent the whole day together. It was lovely. I enjoy days when it's just the two of us. We did some shopping and just had a wonderful time.
I met with my therapist yesterday, finally. It was nice to see her and talk to her. I'm pretty sure she thought I was under the influence of something because I was so sick and so out of it. She brought up that my insurence got a hold of her about me going to treatment. She told me that she isn't sure if treatment will help me in the long run, that it's just a temporary fix. I told her that I'm not even sure I want to go for me. Mainly my kids are my motivation. She told me that's alright for now but that she'd like to see me go for me.
On that topic, my insurance still hasn't approved me. They want an evaluation done by the psychiatrist I meet with on Tuesday first before they make a decision. But even then, the addmissions lady still isn't sure they will approve me. I really hate how hard it is to get treatment if you have an eating disorder. The death toll might go down if they took eating disorders more seriously.
Well that's enough of my bitching. I just want to see a difference in this world when it comes to eating disorder awareness. Oh and I watched that Ana Nicole Smith movie. Oh my God it was amazing. It touched me in so many ways. Despite her drug issues, I think she was a very strong woman. Anyway, I hope you all are doing well. I will catch up on blogs a bit later. Lots of love.
XOXO Katie
Hugs, Katie <3
ReplyDeleteDon't lose your hope yet, don't ever lose it because no matter what the insurance company says there must be some way for you to win this. No matter what they say in there it doesn't mean that you would have failed in any way, they can't define you with the money based decision they make, remember that. If they say no, then it's time to get creative.
Stay strong honey, you'll get through this <3
Sometimes we can't do these things for ourselves and we need something else to hold on for, and it's wonderful that you have your kids to motivate you. Good luck with insurance, I really hope they pull through for you. One thing I've learnt on blogger is that it's frikkin' hard to get treatment in the states, and it makes me so sad. The health system is so different; I've never heard of insurance refusing anyone treatment over here. I'm glad the stomach bug didn't hang around long, it sounds awful. Keep fighting dear xx
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to see an update from you, Katie. I am still hoping for the best. I hope you don't give up, dear. I know you're a strong woman. Hugs and God bless. ♡
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