So yesterday I did something that I didn't think I was going to have the strength to do.
Let me start with a little back story.
My best friend, E, and I have been best friends since 8th grade (almost 14 years.) She has stuck by my side through everything, and I mean, everything. We did everything together.
Well back in May, I noticed that she was becoming a little distant. We went like a week and a half without talking. Only to find out that she had started dating this guy and was afraid I wasn't going to like him. I told her that was nonsense and to bring him over so T and I could meet him.
They came over, we hung out, had dinner and had a pretty good time. That was May 15th. That was the last time I heard from her....
I have texted her numerous times. Called her and left voicemails. Sent her messages on Facebook. And even so much as went to her work. She has ignored it all.
So finally yesterday, I deleted her on Facebook. I know that doesn't sound like such a big deal, but honestly, it was the only link I had left to her and her life. But it was killing me to see all of her updates, photos, videos; all the while knowing that she was choosing to ignore me.
After awhile of not getting responses from her, T thought that maybe her new boyfriend had something to do with it. Like he was possibly isolating her from everyone. But from what I can tell by her Facebook, I don't even think they are dating anymore. I think that was short-lived. And she still seems in pretty constant contact with everyone else in her life, including her other best friend.
I'm not sure why this bothers me so much. I mean, I've lost so many friends over the past few years. Some that I thought would always be there. But with E, it seems so unreal. And frustrating honestly. I even begged her for an explanation as to why she felt the need to ignore me, and got nothing. My birthday was a few weeks ago, and I didn't get a "happy birthday" from her. My baby shower was last weekend, and she didn't show any interest in coming.
I feel so lonely, especially during the day. T is at work, the boys are at school, and I have no one to talk to. Not that I can do much "talking" with the boys.
I just feel very overwhelmed lately and feel like I'm slipping into depression. I feel like this huge weight is sitting on my chest and I can't get it off. Today for some reason is especially worse. I have this nasty cold that started on Monday and it's just gotten worse. I can barely breathe because of it. My morning sickness returned last night. Dinner and desert didn't stay down. And my glucose test is in less than an hour. And I HATE my blood being drawn. I just want to sleep all day, but I can't do that because I can't get comfortable enough to stay in one spot for too long.
I'm sorry this is so long and a total bitch-fest.
XOXO Katie
No need to say sorry Katie
ReplyDeleteThis is a big deal for you
Friends are so important
And it's so hurtful when they just vanish like that
But just remember that it has nothing to so with you
It's nothing that you have done
You are doing so well Katie
And I am so proud of you
You tackle life head on
And with such grace and poise
Keep hanging in there Katie
We are all here for you
Don't forget that
All my love x
Losing a friend is always hard, especially when they are really close. You have no reason to say sorry because you have every right to express how you feel.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a nice person, and I'm sure everyone who follows your blog can agree. So we're all here to support you.
Love,
Dorcha xx
It always hurts when friends just disappear like that, especially when you've been so close for so long. You haven't done anything wrong and you deserve better than to be ignored. Maybe it's the new boyfriend. I know one of my best friends from school stopped contacting me because her new girlfriend doesn't like me.
ReplyDeleteDeleting people on Facebook is a bigger thing than most of us like to admit, I think. I don't know about you, but 99% of my social contact outside blogger is on FB opposed to texts or emails or anything. If I didn't have FB I wouldn't have any remaining link to non-blogger friends.
I hope you feel better soon. Keeping you in my thoughts <3
xx
As Katie, I wish I could hug you. We should skype sooner than later. I'm sorry to hear about E. It certainly is painful to lose a friend, to be cut out and not know why. I promise you that you are a wonderful, caring human being and a strong lady whom I respect so much! Try to keep your spirits up. You definitely did a lot to try to reconnect with her. It's her loss. Lots of love!!
ReplyDelete