First off, I want to thank all of you for continuously checking up on me and seeing how I am doing. Let me get you all caught up...
As you can tell from my post title, I am pregnant! I know, exciting news. T and I are both convinced that God gave me what I wanted just as soon as I gave him what he wanted, and that was Recovery. As soon as I became recovery focused, God gave me a baby.
Things with the baby have been good, although it hasn't been easy. Trying to maintain a healthy pregnancy but dealing with the voice of Ana has been hard. Most times when I eat, I can shut her up, but then there are days where I just can't get her out of my head. She is loud and screaming at me. Last night was one of those nights. I ate 2 whole pieces of cheesecake, by myself. And found myself crying afterwards and couldn't get those negative thoughts out of my head.
T told me last night that he can't imagine me going the remaining of my pregnancy fighting off Ana, because if things don't change, I am going to end up running back to Ana once the baby is born.
I do plan on doing a proper, informational post about what it's like to be pregnant and living with an apparent eating disorder. But to be honest, it's taken me two weeks to convince myself to get on blogger and post.
Unfortunately, I am not going to be able to read your posts, because I will find them triggering, and I am sorry for that. But I would love to get some emails about how each of you are doing individually or some comments on here. I also want to ask Bella if you got my letter? I sent you a letter about a month back and haven't heard from you by mail or email.
I miss you all so very much and I will try to keep you all updated on my life.
Lots of love,
XOXO Katie
Congratulations lady! Maybe you'll have a girl since you're in a house full of boys. :D I think the best thing you can do is focus on eating healthy and getting the habit rolling of doing fruits, veggies, and protein. It will be summer so you can take walks and bike rides too! Recovery is for your family and you. This is such an exciting time and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. :) I love you!
ReplyDeleteWow! Congratulations Katie dear! What wonderful news. I know you've been wanting another child for a while now, and I'm so, so happy for you and T. No doubt you have a challenging time ahead of you. I can only imagine how hard it must be to try to have a normal and healthy pregnancy while under the influence of ana, but I know you're strong enough to get through it in one piece.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for not replying to your letter. There's really no excuse, but I've been down-and-out with a bad chest infection these past few weeks and it's been hard keeping up with things, including communication. I will try to reply ASAP and keep in better contact, I'm sorry it's taken me so long.
Lots of love and hugs to you my dear. Keep fighting as best you can <3 xxxx
Hi Katie! Congratulations on the pregnancy! That is amazing news! I'm really happy for you. I know you will be able to take good care of yourself. Please don't apologise or feel bad about not reading our blogs, you and your baby need to be the priority! Love and hugs!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I hope everything is weel with you and the baby. Just know now that you're eating healthfully not just for yourself, but also that precious little gift. Don't let that bitch, Ana, take control. You are strong, and you can and will do this <3 I'm here if you need anything
ReplyDeleteXoXo Sunshine
Nobody can blame you for blocking out triggering things! You're in recovery and I'm so proud of you for that. I never would have figured being pregnant with an eating disorder would e easy, but I know you're a fighter. To be entirely honest with you, I think you look gorgeous as you are. I wish you the best in recovery and I'll be there supporting you as much as I can. Xx love you.
ReplyDeleteHey Katie, so good to get an update and wow! Congratulations!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so very happy for you and T, it must be so exciting!
I'm so glad to read that you are fighting Ana off
I really am so happy for you, I've been wondering how you are
And I totally get not reading other blogs
I don't read many myself these days
Can't wait to read more about your pregnancy
Take good care of you and baby x