Wednesday, March 4, 2015

I miss you guys so much

I'm sorry it's been so long. Life has been stressful and overwhelming. I wish I came bearing wonderful news about how I'm fully recovered, about how life is perfect and that I'm never looking back.
Before I get into all of that, I'll update you all on my little princess. Syrsha will be 3 months in 6 days. I can't believe how fast she's growing. She's developed quite a personality and smiling all the time. She's almost 11 lbs.

So, in other news, I've been struggling real bad as of lately. My weight has been pretty much the same since 2 weeks after Syrsha was born. A couple weeks ago I gained 3lbs in one weekend. It triggered me so bad. Currently I'm 102. And for the most part, I'm ok with that. But the fear of gaining is what I'm really fighting with. Every time I eat, I freak out. I've started counting calories during meal times. But I can't not eat since I'm breastfeeding. I need to eat as much as I did when I was pregnant to keep her healthy.

I've pretty much kept to myself since Syrsha was born. My anxiety keeps me from reaching out, or going out for that matter. I only talk to one friend and that's my best friend. She's the only one who understands my feelings. Most of the time I want to cry, but I don't because I don't want anyone to see I hurt.

As for my boys, my youngest turned 4 in January. He's become such a wonderful big brother. He loves to help me around the house. He loves to help with the baby. For the most part, he's not an attitudinal little butthead like he used to be. My oldest though, he has taken a turn for the worst. He got put on Strattera at the beginning of February  and it has worsened everything. He's become so aggressive, lying all the time, and refusing to have anything to do with school. I think they are going to switch him to Lithium. That scares me but we are at a loss with him.

T and I are doing great. We don't have much time for just us which wears on us a bit. But we are still being very open with communication. In fact, we finally picked a wedding date. When it becomes official, I'll tell you all.

I apologize for this being so long, it's just been awhile.  I'll leave you with a few pictures. Much love.
Xoxo Katie

7 comments:

  1. aww she is a cutie ^^ I am counting down minutes for mine to be born.. It seems like he is too comfy and wont ever come out...

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  2. Katie!!! We've missed you too!! Your daughter is beautiful!! :) Have fun planning the wedding, and don't stress out! xx

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  3. She is so beautiful, just like her mother ^^
    Take care of yourself sweetheart xx

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  4. Katie! It's so good to hear an update from you. Your little girl is beyond adorable. And I know I said it was sewing something (two things, actually) for Syrsha aaaages ago, but I'm nearly done! If it's not there by the time she's 6 months, you have permission to kick me.

    I'm sorry thinks are so difficult with your oldest. He has ADHD, yes? My brother had a lot of difficulties with his Asperges when he was younger, a bit different though they always mentioned ADD, but he was on cocktails of Ritalin and Dexamphetamine and all that crap when he was your eldest's age. A lot of anger, fighting, massive issues in mainstream school. It was scary when I was growing up, but now he's a successful functioning 24 year old, unmedicated for over 10 years, and people are always surprised to hear he has Asperges. I think working with a specialized school and getting away from the shithead bullies in mainstream was a big turning point.

    A wedding date! Eeee! Very exciting :)

    Take care dear <3
    xxxx

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  5. Hello dear Katie
    I have just seen your update
    So good to hear from you
    You have been in my thoughts
    OMG your photos are adorable
    Syrsha is beautiful
    And so are you pretty lady

    I can't imagine how tough it is to have these struggles with your son
    I hope things start to improve for him
    And for you

    Yay a wedding date!!!
    I demand many pictures!
    Will you send me your address so I can send you a card and a little something

    Much love always sweetheart

    Take care x

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  6. I took quite the sabbatical myself, but she's beautiful, congratulations! Hope everything starts coming together for you soon!

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